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Tag (tag) n. v. 1. a descriptive word or phrase
applied to a person, group, organization, etc. as
a label or means of identification; epithet.
Webster's New Universal Unabridged Dictionary
(1996). 2. a writer's dilemma: to use them or not?
If so, how often? Alone or with adverbs? Simple or
complex? Linda O'Brien's Unabridged Musings
Tags are a necessary part of a writer's bag of
tools, helpful words, with luck, invisible words,
sprinkled within lines of dialogue to give readers
direction. Tags also have a dark side; they can
sabotage a scene's emotional punch, drag a story
down to a slow crawl, and, worse yet, cause a
reader to lose interest. I understand and respect
the power of tags. The trick is to harness it.
If you think of plot as the brains of a story, and
romance the heart, then dialogue is its soul, the
catalyst that drives the story forward by giving
its characters emotion, immediacy and movement.
The writer's goal, then, is to create dialogue
that allows the reader to witness that movement
and feel those emotions in the moment. Here are my
own guidelines:
1. Make your reader an observer by using body
language. Let the reader witness your characters'
feelings by describing their physical actions and
reactions as they flirt, discuss, whisper words of
love, and argue. Their movements may be dramatic
or subtle, but they have to be doing something
while conversing, even if they're pretending to do
nothing at all. A person feigning disinterest
would still give clues to his or her feelings.
Tags simply don't have the ability to do what body
language does.
Imagine a mother washing dishes at the sink, her
teen aged daughter sitting behind her at the
table, studying for an exam. The daughter suddenly
makes a shattering announcement that will forever
change both of their lives.
"I'm dropping out of school," Mary announced.
"Are you sure that's what you want to do?" her
mother asked, turning to look at her.
"I'm sure," Mary replied confidently.
"So that's it then," her mother said with a shrug.
The tags are in place, and there's even a bit of
body language, yet you, as a reader, have no idea
how the mother truly feels about her daughter's
decision. You, as an observer, would. Perhaps her
back stiffens in anger, her white-knuckled hands
clutch a glass until it breaks. Perhaps she is
relieved from the release of financial burden, in
which case her shoulders might sag, her tense
expression relax. Or possibly she is dismayed,
heartsick, blinded by sudden tears, all her years
of sacrifice wasted. Whatever her feelings are,
show them. It's up to the writer to take that
scene from flat words to dynamic emotion.
2. Body language shouldn't overpower dialogue. You
don't want the reader to feel she is watching a
room full of jumping beans. If their movements
become a distraction, no one will "hear" what's
being said. Use body language judiciously.
3. Vary your sentences of dialogue. This will keep
the scene exciting, and goes hand in hand with the
previous point.
Case gazed down at Eliza, who had her eyes closed
and a rapturous look on her face. At once, she
opened her eyes and smiled guilelessly. "Would you
do that again, please?"
He groaned. Lord, how he wanted to oblige. Shaking
his head firmly, he stepped back. "No. Uh-uh. You
wouldn't like where it led."
"It wouldn't lead anywhere. You wouldn't let it."
"I wouldn't let it?" Case laughed harshly as he
strode to the fire and knelt down to unroll his
blanket. "Don't count on that."
"I count on you," she said simply.
"Maybe one of these days you'll learn not to be so
trusting."
4. Use tags to clarify. If two characters are
talking, there's no need to identify them in each
sentence with a tag. The tags become monotonous
and break the flow of conversation. Set the stage
for the reader by describing action and emotion
instead.
Monotonous:
When are you supposed to deliver the money?" he
asked.
"As soon as I can get there," she replied.
"Where is there?" he asked.
"I don't know yet. I'll let you know," she
answered.
Better:
He leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms and
scowled at her. "When are you supposed to deliver
the money?"
"As soon as I can get there." She poured a cup of
tea, avoiding his eye.
"Where is there?"
"I don't know yet." She sipped her tea slowly,
making him wait. "I'll let you know."
5. If tags are needed, use invisible ones whenever
possible. He said/she said are the most well-known
invisible tags. They register in the reader's
mind, but don't slow down the flow of
conversation.
6. Put emphasis where you most want it by
strategically inserting a tag. They're great for
making a dramatic point. "You, sir," she sneered,
"are an idiot."
7. Avoid dueling adverbs. You've seen it; you've
probably done it: "Ah ha!" he said archly. "Ah ha,
yourself," she replied smugly. "Touche," he
answered deftly. "Why?" she queried innocently. My
rule: one adverbed tag to a scene of dialogue.
8. Watch those grins, giggles and guffaws. I
recently started reading a book where the hero
smiled and the heroine giggled their way through
the entire first four chapters. I didn't finish
the book. I couldn't identify with characters who
grinned every time they spoke, even when terrible
things were happening.
9. Less is more. Short, snappy conversation needs
minimal interference from tags as long as the
reader is clear about who is speaking. When the
retorts start flying, stand back and listen.
"Does your job ever get dangerous?" Eliza asked.
Case shrugged, as if danger meant nothing to him.
"Sometimes."
"Have you ever had to use a weapon?"
"Yep."
"A gun?"
"A gag."
"A gag? What for?"
"Silencing a talkative female."
10. Tags become important when the number of
characters increases. Basically, don't confuse the
reader. If there's more than one character in the
scene, every line will need an identifier of some
kind.
11 . Use "real speak." People falter, pause, raise
their voices, emphasize certain words, choke up,
sneer and use contractions – unless they're
royalty, and then who knows how they talk outside
of the public ear? I know it's been said many
times, but read your dialogue out loud. Do all of
your characters talk the same way, with the same
rhythm and inflection? Do they speak naturally or
do they sound stilted, formal? Try to imagine your
neighbors having that conversation. I promise,
this method works.
The two most important things to remember are:
keep your dialogue flowing with minimal use of
tags; and, put your reader in the observer's seat.
You needn't fear the tag monster. All he really
wants is a little respect.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A native of Northwest Indiana, Purdue University
graduate, and former elementary teacher, Linda
launched her writing career with a series of
children's stories for magazines before turning to
her true love, romance. Her sixth historical
romance, BELOVED PROTECTOR, (Avon/HarperCollins)
is a November, 2001, release.
AUTHORS
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